I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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