Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
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