she was so not down for the gang bang
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
