I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
All I want is dick and wine.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
