I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
he just fucked me for my cheese.
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