the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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