you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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