Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
