I murdered the dance floor call the cops
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
