Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
