is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
