You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. đź’€
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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