Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
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