i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
