"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Randomize
