Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
