Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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