Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
