Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
