We're like a lot better than the average bears
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
false alarm. still invincible.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
