i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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