Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
