The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize