can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
