I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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