I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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