You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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