I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
