There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
