Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
