I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
