So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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