If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Randomize
