im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
