Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
This baby is an asshole
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
