Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
