508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize