Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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