the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
