Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Randomize
