I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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