I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
