butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
