There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
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