we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
