If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Drake has all the answers
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
