I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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