You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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