I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
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