are you so shy because you have an std?
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
this hospital has no fireball
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
