I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
