i think i have herpe
just one?
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
