Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
