the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
